Rapping by L-Dawg
~Talking in a California Accent~
Oh my god
[Other person’s name], look at her comp (scoff)
It is so big (scoff)
Looks like one of those crazy Enron executives,
But y’know, who understands those executives? (scoff)
They only talk to her because she has a ton of options (‘kay)
I mean her comp, it’s just so big (scoff)
I can’t believe it’s so in the money, it’s like out there
I mean – it’s so gross
Look, she’s just so loaded
~rap by L-Dawg~
I like big comps and I can not lie
You other consultants can’t deny
And when a CEO walks in with an itty bitty base
And a round bonus in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you noticed that option was stuffed
Deep in the money she’s sporting
I’m hooked and I can’t stop granting
Oh, baby I wanna exercise my options with ya
And take your RSU’s
My coworkers tried to warn me
But with that base you got
Makes me so greedy
Ooh, rumple smooth volatility
You say you wanna get in my ISOs,
Well use me use me cuz you ain’t that average comparator groupee,
I’ve seen them grantin’,
To hell with shareholder
They’ve got no clue,
I’m tired of consultants
Saying flat comps are the thing
Take the average executive and ask him that
You gotta increase much back
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your executive got the comp (hell yeah)
Tell ‘em shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it shake that healthy comp
Baby got back